Sunday, June 07, 2020

New Normal For Others, The Future I Was Dreaming

Howdy y'all! ☺️

March 19, 2020:

Since I have recuperated and I have more time to do what i want at home due to the enhanced community quarantine, I wanted to share my thoughts and activities and document it digitally so by the time I have to remember and reminisce i'll just watch this video. 😁 Championship

During college I was with my friend riding an LRT i think it was our "OJT" days, we talked about seeing ourselves someday having a kid and being a mom, no particular partners in picture, we just wanted to be a mom.

Well, indeed be careful what you wish for because it comes with great responsibility and you have the power to make or break not just a routine or achievement but a life, from birth until end.

Being mommy is hard, tiring, fun, very emotional for me, exciting, full of hope and fulfilling. I hope I can be a good mommy, who nurtures, teaches and comforts.

May 12, 2020:

A sister, an aunt or a mom's care and understanding, a confidant, an expert support. Those were my experiences towards nurses who took care of me whenever I got hospitalized and colleagues at Legato whenever I needed products and procedures assistance. I'll be forever grateful. What you do for a living is pure dedication and faithfulness in little things. Keep the faith and that "malasakit" in you. And I'll do my part as well to make all your sacrifices worth it. #StaySafeStayHome #weareinthistogether 

My Updated Playlist:

The World's Best Pocket Fairy Tales From Nido

Thursday, October 03, 2019


Since September 14, 2019, I was attending an Adobe Photoshop Training in Ortigas, Pasig. We had a lesson about how to make a movie poster.

As a movie enthusiast like me, I had difficulty choosing which movie should I personalize.

I asked my husband what will he be doing since we're together on this training and he said jokingly that he will create his own movie poster.

Well, that was a great idea!

The reason for getting into this training aside from the fact that we are already personalizing T-shirts, is for me to enhance my skill in editing photos and be certified with it.

As much as I wanted to star in my own movie, the pictures that I have at hand, does not look and feel cinematic. So, if I were to see a movie, I would choose the movie with my favorite actors instead. I remembered that Joker with Joaquin Phoenix will be showing October 2019.

Although I loved Joaquin since "Gladiator" days and when I saw the "Inventing the Abbotts", my all-time favorite Joker character is Heath Ledger on The Dark Knight.

That is why I decided to use both of them on my movie poster activity.

My Tribute to Heath Ledger and Joaquin Phoenix as Joker. May we find the truest sense of bliss.

Today, October 3, 2019, my husband treated me on a movie date. (^_^)
We were reminiscing when was the last time we went to the cinemas since the dawn of Netflix at the comforts of our home. The last movie we saw together was Kita Kita (2017)!

After getting some snacks, I advised him that we have to be inside the cinema in time for the trailers and when we arrived it was just us and a mother and daughter tandem climbing up the stairs slowly but surely. Before the trailers and announcements started, a few people only joined us for the 4:00 PM show.

Well, this blog is not meant for me to tell you in detail what I saw because I highly recommend that you see it for yourself!

I wanted to confirm that we cannot compare The Dark Knight Joker with it because they are totally different with a totally different plot and scenarios. Like what I have responded on one of the tweets I saw about Heath as the best Joker ever, watching Joaquin Phoenix as the Joker will never replace or forget how Heath Ledger portrayed the role, it is a chance for us to look at things on a different perspective.

And when you look at things in a different light, you will be more open to changes and improvements that hopefully will benefit you more for the good than before. No doubt, the acting expertise of Joaquin was a masterpiece, naturally executed in the light of a person who lived a tormented life.

I realized after watching the movie that it all starts in the family. Although we cannot have a perfect family, I believe in reality, God will always show the way for us to find a family that we can consider as our basic support system outside of our homes through friends and professionals as long as we consistently pray in whichever religion one may have, then to admit to ourselves we needed help, and to seek, meaning attempting to find, ways on how to receive help or cure from others.

If all else fails, the system, the government, based from experience, there will always be someone or a mediator who is willing to open their arms or ears, who can give their time to be the voice of the voiceless.

I always pray that I become a part of the solution. And for me, communicating with my loved ones and having a Bible Plan are a few of the ways I use to muster all the courage that I must have daily. I am almost done reading, "Words Matter" by

When Arthur said in the movie that his life was a comedy, I had flashbacks when I was in college during our theater class. A comedy is a play characterized by its humorous or satirical tone and its depiction of amusing people or incidents, in which the characters ultimately triumph over adversity.

This is the comedy I wanted for all of us "Arthurs" out there, so we can always put a happy smiling face in spite of it all. :)  #virtualhugsandkisses for the meantime.

Overall, the movie is all our money's worth. The 70's/80's vibe is my favorite and the shots, angles, minimal effects taken were at the right time and at the right place, they were necessary! Those where done not to compare with past movies but so we can understand during that era how things work that maybe until today, even with all these technologies, we still haven't made any advancement on our approach to people like Arthur that is why we still produce and meet Arthurs any where. I love the original soundtrack and I already found it on Spotify. There was a confusing part for me at first after the subway scene with all that adrenaline rush but later I understood why he has to dance it away. #InsanelyClassic

October is my birth month and reading my past blogs revitalizes me. Although I am still a work in progress, I am truly happy and contented now. #Cheers #Halflife

Wednesday, April 24, 2019

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Tuesday, February 05, 2019

What Is The Meaning of My Dream?

After attending a free training under Filipina Homebased Moms last night, I wanted to get started and applied what I have learned so I can land to my online work as soon as possible.

I started getting my resume edited with Canva and I signed up under Trello. I had a stint working from home in 2015 as an online English tutor for Japanese. Here was my video introduction at that time:

After numerous attempts to change my career from a graveyard shift into a day shift, I finally decided that I can better perform if I dedicate my time working from home so I can be with my son. Although he is 11 years old, a lot of things happened (kindly back read from my previous posts to have a better understanding) and I can sense that he is still trying to befit with his environment. He is still a child for me and I honestly spent less time monitoring his studies and school activities recently.

While organizing my profiles and documents, I decided to lay down at around 11 PM. I told myself,
" I will just rest my eyes and straighten my back, then I will go back finishing my applications."

But what do you expect, I went to wonderland together with my son who snores fast asleep beside me. But the ambiance and feeling is so familiar as if I am wide awake. It feels like an old movie waiting for the next sequence.

I know I am in the province because of the number of trees at the backyard, definitely this is not our apartment in the city.

The house is old and gloomy although it is not that dark outside. I am suspecting that we are at my parents' house but I don't remember having wooden flooring. Maybe this was the scenario because before my son and I went to sleep, he requested if we can visit his grandparents in Laguna since February 5 is Chinese New Year which means holiday and no school day.

For the longest time, I have never dreamed of something that my husband was in it. When I dream,
I usually see my son, mother, former classmates and previous officemates. But now he was there, he seemed tired from a day's work. The setup of the house has a second floor because when my husband came home, I was looking down at him while he climbed up the stairs.

Here at our apartment, we don't have a frame for the bed and like Korean/Japanese style, we have mats and foam as our bed. But in the dream there are no foams to lay down to and just hard mats laid on the floor with our thin blankets and I don't even remember having pillows. (Old school province life it was!)

We had an argument last night before he went to work so maybe the feeling lingers to me that even during the dream I feel irritated by him that I don't want to go near him at all. As usual, he invited me to go to sleep and embraced me while we lay down to sleep.

Then suddenly the mood became scary and if you can remember the mask of the vendetta, someone who was wearing that mask or it seems like the mask of the vendetta was his actual face entered the room in a lateral flying position towards me like attacking me with his "superman-like" fist-flying position?!? I sense that someone is a different entity and I was so afraid and my heart was pounding so hard because everything was sudden while my husband already fallen a sleep.

My initial reaction was to block that entity while pushing it away from me cause I felt that a touch from it would kill me. Then I shouted, "No matter what you do, Jesus is still powerful than you!"

Then I woke up.

My head was aching of too much sleep but it was only midnight. I am shaking while I do the sign of the cross and prayed repeatedly until I went back to sleep.

I kept on waking up every hour with a throbbing head until I heard the alarm buzzing at 4:30AM.

I don't usually dream of supernatural things but when I do I always have to face these monsters or demons and it feels like real.

Whatever my dream meant, it only means that I need to have more time with God and to truly change my perspective positively. Challenging times will be always there and I can win it if I courageously face it, cut the slack and persevere more, declutter my mind and home and take care of myself as well. While I do my responsibilities as a mom and wife, I believe that everything will also follow in terms of my career as a WAHM. In due time. :)

Tuesday, January 22, 2019

Tribute - The World's Best Pocket Fairy Tales from Nido - Nido Powdered ...

Saturday, July 14, 2018

Oh no! It felt so real. :)

At last! I finally dreamed of you.

The setting was an expensive, exclusive-like beach resort with Italian architecture and ambiance. The people I am with were my son, husband, mom, my closest friend and some of my high school friends with their families and previous officemates with the past companies I've been with. But I felt it was a company outing with other faces I was unfamiliar with.

The beach has white sand with a long narrow modern tiki hut bar near the shore with foreigners in different nationalities sat down for a drink, it was far away from me but it seems like it was built on water with flowing water falls on the side so some people past through from the water to sit down.

There was an old blonde man that you would know was a surfer boy when he was young who stood up to go away from the bar but he was naked! Covering his private part with his hands while walking away, maybe drunk.

Then while the other people were crazy swimming in the beach, there was a commotion about a boy, about 5 years old, whose left foot was chopped from the ankle and they said it was due to a shark but there were no blood spilling and he was just rolling on the beach like a normal kid with his tantrums then he walked away with his big, tall, chubby dad like there was an invisible left foot cause he can walk normally, one step at a time.

So I call on and checked on my son and it was just weird that the table where my husband sat on was different from ours like he had a different group and we were set aside at the corner near the opened, wide, white door with square glasses that you can peep through whoever will be coming. All of the doors in the resort was designed like that.

I sat down with strangers while they eat from the buffet feast but I haven't gotten any plate.
Then my closest friend came out from the door overjoyed and drunk, I've never seen her like that before, she is married now but when she sat on our table she was alone saying that she got drunk due to her college friends who gave her numerous shots. I told her to compose herself because we might meet my UMC - ultimate man crush in the vicinity.

As soon as I've said that, UMC walked out of the door looking buff as ever but now with grey hair highlights and you can now see fine lines on his face but still his presense was so inspiring because memories flashed back to me how great and legendary this person was. 

At the same time when he walked out alone, cause I know he was living with his girlfriend, he has a down to earth nature that you can easily sense, there were no body guards around him and he dressed like normal people in the resort would do with his favorite white shirt and blazer on.

Oh what a chicken little me, I extended my arm to shake his hand and it felt awkward, he looked, "okay", with his poker face expression.
I was still holding his hand and my mind was saying, "do something more!" I went near him like pressing my body against him doing an awkward tensed hug that I know he felt uncomfortable with.

So I moved away immediately and then he walked towards the space where he can speak with other guests.
My mind was coaching me that I should not waste this time and opportunity, no regrets!!!

So I mustered all the courage I can get and approached UMC again, this time I asked him if I can hug him. He said, "sure".
He is 5"8 tall and I'm 4" 11. I felt like a cocoon wrapped inside my shell, with his muscular body protecting me like a shield. It was a comfortable feeling, indeed. I don't want to let go. I embraced him as tight as I wanted to, at least letting him know through my embrace how proud and happy I am for him.
Then he looked at me saying, "Do you want to marry me?"

Ha, ha, ha! I would loved to say, "I do!"
I was well aware about my current situation and my response to him was, "Give me an annulment first." His face went from flirty to "oh, you're married" look.

I laughed so hard, and told him that no matter what, I will always be here for him and I am proud of his endeavors especially about the crypto, I need to learn a lot about it but I will continue on supporting him on this project.
We sat down and his face looked more interested with our conversation after I told him about the cryptocurrencies that I know. It felt as a long conversation because I got hungry then he had to leave now.

When I went to the buffet table I was informed that the food set for our "company" ran out easily because we were a thousand attendees. The foods left there were designated to other guests. It was fine with me cause I know there was a counter were I can buy a separate meal but my mom gave me a tray with watermelons on the side and I know it was a salad dish with avocados, watermelon or something red chopped in cubes, special sauces, veggies, a healthy looking meal, I can say.

My mom said it was given to me by somebody.
I looked around who could it be, and inside another bar-like room for the VIPs, there was a person peeping through me and he was wearing an orange T-shirt with denim overalls.
So I looked back and gestured, "Thanks for the food" lifting the tray as I look at him. And that man gave me a thumbs up. I guessed it was also my UMC but he looked younger maybe because of the video I saw about him previously when he was doing TV shows.

I was so hungry that I didn't go back to our table to eat instead I excused myself to sit with another group, my husband asked me what I was eating and I told him it was just given to me. The foreign nationals seated in our table commented that the food I was eating costed $111.00 or 11,200 in peso if I would convert it. Alright, it was enough to measure how expensive what I was eating.

Then I woke up.

Ha, ha, I better watch out cause my subconcious mind was playing tricks on me again. It was still a good night sleep. 
At least, I had been with you in my dreams. :)
No regrets. :)

PS. I tried to interpret my dream and I can't believe what I found out through these links:
(So it was a real recipe/dish, I can't wait to taste it for real! I can't believe that you can combine watermelon and avocado in one plate!)
(Okay, positive thinking for number 1!)

Monday, June 18, 2018

For Miguel Marcel

Sharing with you a post I had recently. The reason why I love animations. They are not just cartoons, it is a way to talk about serious stuff lightly but effectively for young and old. Keep this in mind always, Miguel Marcel. :) :* #nytnyt #eatdreams #loveyou

I see myself as the son, the mother and the father roled into one. Like the son, I am always dependent to my parents and relatives, when it was about time for me to live on my own, I kept on coming back home justifying the need to be there instead of facing my life's trials independently and maturely. But unlike the son, I don't want to reach the point that someone or something has to end before I learn and accept adulting. I still wanted to go back home bringing good news or sharing my accomplishments.

Like the mother, I am always supportive to my own son. I am just arms length away from him, ready to catch his hands when tired of school work or clueless of household chores. I try to understand my son's gaming language and other new acronyms because I want him to know that mommie is ready to listen and we are on the same vibe. I'm on defense mode, ready to make his senseless reasons sensible whenever arguing with daddy why we have to eat chicken and have desserts afterwards. I want a piece of me with him wherever he may go.

But I am also like the father. I wanted Miguel Marcel Manlavi to be strong and responsible when the time comes he has to take his own path. I am always grumpy about little things when he was not using his common sense. I get irritated when he calls "mommie" for help on things he already knew but he said he forgot because he was not interested and was not paying attention beforehand. I had to be the poker-face-i-don't-care-at-all "father" to teach you, Miguel, that I know you can do it, you just have to believe in yourself.
But I pray that someday, I will never experience the same way the father on the video had, alone and waiting.

PS. Miguel, be independent, grateful of the good and bad things and live by your name, an image of God and a little warrior. I will be always proud of you, whatever endeavor you may choose. Miguel, we have seen the video and I already explained it to you. You will always have a piece of mommie and daddy wherever you will go.

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